They charge for bags now. Prepare yourself. Don't be like me, thinking you're all Beat by bopping down to the check-in desk with seven American dollars in your wallet. You WILL discover your humility. Your bop will drop like a sack of onions. And for a second you'll get the quiver voice, like, "well, what now?" And you'll call your friends who are all working and look forelornly out the window until a young woman with big sweet smile and bouncing baby approaches you, saying "I couldn't help but overhear..." And she'll come back from an ATM and your jaw will drop like a sack of onions that keeps getting dropped and she'll deny all repayment plans you muster and you'll shake her saintly hand, humbly, and shimmy excitedly to pay for your checked bag, exulting in the fact that there are still good people in the world. And you'll think of Haley Joe Osmond and a scarred Kevin Spacey. You'll think of Haley Joe Osmond.
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