ah shit, you are still so young

you've still got oodles
of time
to go,
to start that literary club or
finish your album
and march singing through
the forest with your wildest
friends and tell keifer
gimme that
gimme that hat.
now fuck off.

for reals
on the bus
go round
'n'
round

i want to befriend somebody

i can meaningfully call "coach." preference goes to anybody who is actually a coach. friday night lights has ruined me. i watch, tears ready, the small texas town and its blunt, endearing love of football. street's girlfriend, Lyla. i have a fantasy team but its not the same. every week i forget to change my roster. this will be my third year losing.
pep talk, back slap.
thanks, coach.

i guess i just miss my dad.

in prison

we learn not to whistle,
IRL we learn how to sing

i skipped vietnam. i ran.

this is some sort of
punishment.
god,
like punishing me.
so god you're FUCKING PETTY
THEN AH
fuck fuck.
oh no oh god.
please go.

YR MY BRA

hi.
hi there.
were you waiting for
someone? you were
waiting for me? all this
time?
oh gosh. oh i'm sorry.
i'm so sorry
i wasted your time
my life
ehh.
bleck.
so you shouldntve had
faith in me!
you shouldnta
been supportive. your my bra.
oh, cupping like a D.

well, let's just say that i am not real.

you, alone, are real
even though you hide
and i cannot see
your face. i am not real
or iconic.

maybe i'm getting too old

for this, i think, staring
mindlessly through the leaves no,
through the weed.

i wish i coulda just got it.

please

Bought some garlic

and Vitamin E capsules because
of wanting to live
and be handsome forever.




[words by Barry Hannah]

i,

i'm
walking here

fall is a great season

and absolutely the
best time to get
highbrow.




[words by steve roggenbuck]

what's to stop you

from coming home? chet's
better, we have graham nash
music
and roggenbuck poems. this
is where you
BELONG.

okay

,
very
valid
.

like like so totally

leads
to love.

ah baby today was so Ratso,

i just stayed tight wrapped
in blankets (c'mon!)
sweetdreaming the heat
in Florida.

I am an urban developer, no

I am an urban
explorer and you
are a city, no
an explorer and
you are the new
world, NBC new.
I am a viking
in a stolen ship,
the sea is quiet
and I am steering
behind my sunglasses
to find you
but it is Columbus
Day and you
have the whole day off.

I am twenty-eight

and amazed
by my own inability to
get a different kind of
job.
I am no Mark Sanchez,
no Sorkin, more like
old neighbor
smoking alone on
her patio, her car
window always rolled down,
broken.
I have a sad
attitude and the thoughts of
youth are yeah,
real long.

once I'm naked, I

can
disappear

top 3 Barry Hannah quotes, vol.2

1.It's against populating the grimy little
flybit species except for them as can
appreciate time and flesh and imagination.
It's about your high school play and sport and
it don't speak to nothing but itself. You
can't tell me who's harmed by it. The internet
is okay, but you develop there a lonely
murderous kind of nerd who wears a raincoat in
his own den, stepping out into the ether
thinking it's real, realer than Mom, who he's
hammered to death because she wasn't some
Power Ranger with tits who makes waffles every
day.

2.Besides acting in the local theater, the sheriff rode a Norton motorcycle. The people of the county were not clear on what man they
had. He was handsome and very verbal. These
things were measured against him. Many women,
however, wanted to see his warm gun and dreamed, since there was little else to do.

3.Her knees went a little weak. When will I
get any better about men, she asked herself.
She walked in a trance most of the day.
Cautious, polite, gone milky and holy in the
head, abstraced into kindness.

4.These poets keep wanting to suck the water
out of the ocean with a straw.

5. The rain pleased Raymond immensely, as it
always did. It whispered, cancel your duty to
the outer, get fetal, think of caves.

so courteous, this

particular balance
notification.

you on a

speedboat
your voice
in my ear

as the sun sets over

our
city,
I
set aside some
of my nihilism and
we finally stop
talking about Daniel Pinchbeck
and we
walk, me and you,
hand in slightly sweaty hand
to go buy smokes
through the twilight,
maybe beer,
two
burritos.

this is ridiculous

apply
yourself.

tell me

you'll love
me
for a milli
-on years.

top 3 Barry Hannah quotes, vol.1

1. Oh you're fat at the long table, stuffed with time, friends, your flat stupid brainstorms. Not long. You're going to shake hands with every dead thing. You recall you were a captain, a flyboy, an assassin's instrument barely beyond pubic. You could neither write a good check nor imagine any bill beyond a twenty. You had never had a decent woman's bare breasts against you. All you had was your dog and your model planes and good eyes and baseball.

2. When her husband Wootie died, Melanie stayed on the lake in their rambling vacation house. She was seventy-one years old and wished she were a poet. But she was too direct for that, her senses too good, her memory too precise, and she couldn't drink much.

3. As you would ask somebody the point of their lives and they would answer: horses.

innocent

as your once dry drugs
suddenly way too wet

i've been trying to upload these old zines, all original

using this seemingly cool site
called issuu, where you
create easy to read digital
versions of zines
that aren't pdfs but its
pretty tricky
so instead, in the interim, here's
a couple old pictures of my mom
and pops


(coming soon: probably some fucking pdfs of the aforementioned zines)
(also coming soon: the first of the Bixby Letters)

your love, a keg cup

and i,
the biggest bro
there is

tonight, in your honor, wizard

of oz.
for you who continues
to discover that you have
those things you once
were so sure you lacked,
you remind me of a mix
of all the characters
who aren't dorothy,
though maybe
her too
because
you're already
home.

it was paris and it was 1948.

i'm pretty sure it was 1948.
i had been walking, my shoes were heavy
and wet. my head too, my eyes. drinking too much.
it rained, then it stopped, rained again.
i heard a church bell not far off.
i was drunk and hungry for food or love.
thoroughly soaked, i walked bare-headed
in the parisian rain. it seemed a writerly
thing to do. plus yeah, drunk.
i was halfway across the courtyard at
the backside of the Louvre when i
saw her. she was standing outside of a closed
cafe, waiting out the rain, and wearing one of
those fancy dresses that was considered high
fashion at the time - Dior, i think- with a
little ruffle puff where the ass should be,
giving the young woman a sort of peacockish
but elegant air.
"dibs," i whispered noiselessly to no one
as i shuffled passed.

"diiiiiiiiiiiiibs."

hurricane

i run circles

in the wet grass, howling,
precisely because
you are
like
the moon

having never been to prison,

he described his own particular brand
of existential grief as, "kind of
like pac-man but you don't get to
chase the ghosts"

god show me

a UFO and
i will
always
love you

i don't hunt.

not that i don't want to.
i've seen 'surviving the game.' fucking ice-t.

i don't hunt. not that i wouldn't want to.
if you have guns and read this, holla.

i don't hunt. not that i wouldn't want to.
i mean, tommy's in my living room and

i don't hunt. not that i wouldn't eventually want to.
i do like guns. but i don't eat meat.
so shit would be purely symbolic or

i don't hunt. not more than anyone else does.

i'm off

on a five week sabbatical
in the green of west
michigan
and i'm already broke
so will probably
have to eat
wild asparagus and buy
booze with
loose change but
you know how it is,

only us explorers

dress for the job

you want

i feel unpunished

for a false start.
in terms of creative achievement,
i had stopped, a vestige
of my old
honor code.
here i start again.
i tilt the computer i dont
care
having heard that damages
its spinning discs i dont care.
it has damaged my spinning discs
and now it works for me, indebted.
perilously i have been hiding out,
smoking too much
weed and
getting nothing real done.
are netflix movies real when
you play them
instantly
forget them
endlessly?
CHICKEN AND THE EGG I GUESS.
i want to be buried with my blog.

1. most improved phone performance

2. we real cool we skip
the whole master's program, spite
iowa and go to chicago instead
3. haven't you heard
4. boob brushes your shoulder
as she leans in, whispering
5. a bike ride
6. jumping your neighbors fence
to swim in their pool
8. post-posting = bad blog
9. see the pyramids along
the nile
10. nobody even lives there,
the house is for rent

yeah, hesher was actually

really good,
what?
yeah, and that kid from
where the wild
things are
i think.
hard to tell cause
the whole movie he's riding
a bmx bike
super fast thru the streets.
13-12,
your serve.

pearl necklace (heartbreak)

seldom worn, you
monster

oh would that i could

be a
useful
dream boat

please, dear lord, don't

embarrass me,

i can do that
by myself

dom, if you must

you can tag me
thinking
about woody
guthrie and
watching waterworld

men like me

we flower
late
in life

the day hereby filled

with a sensational poetry reading
a la kerouac at
the steve allen show
(but us!)
which blends seemlessly into
a dynamic water-balloon
fight where
i totally come out of no
where
and pour wine on your head

(photo courtesy of Brigid Walsh)

to be or

not